It’s difficult to blog about the lettings market without spreading a lot of doom and gloom so at The Tenant’s Voice we thought this week – given that Halloween is just around the corner – we’d take a humorous, seasonal look at the lettings industry and the players within it. You may well recognise many of the below and perhaps you have suggestions of your own – feel free to share…
The vampire landlord
Those landlords who simply want more and more from their tenants and one feed is never enough. This type of landlord will drain your resources by repeatedly increasing the rent, demanding cash for ‘damage’ and insisting you pay for everything, even those parts of the property that are legally their responsibility, taking more and more until you’re left pale and hollow (although hopefully not dead).
The werewolf housemate
We’ve all had one of these, a housemate who essentially hibernates all day, only appearing once or twice looking wild-eyed and panicky, and then disappears during the hours of darkness. You may or may not have heard one of these types of housemates howling at the moon (it could have just been their Netflix). Beware around the full moon as the werewolf housemate may bite if challenged.
The ghostly repairs person
When you’re renting a property, repairs can be an issue and some landlords tend to go for a repairs service that offers more in the way of costs savings than reliability. Enter, the spectral repair man or woman, who you’re sure has been there but you just can’t quite tell because everything seems to be in exactly the same state of disrepair as it was before their presence was detected.
The poltergeist landlord
Those beings who don’t seem to understand that they cannot simply walk in to a property being rented out to someone else but must give 24 hours notice. They will enter as they please, when they want to and expect tenants to be happy when they ‘pop in’ to fix a light bulb or inspect a damp patch. Sometimes the only sign that they have even been there is that your possessions have been moved…
The witchy letting agent
An agent (could be male or female) who likes to be as scary as possible to try and intimidate tenants into taking what they say as gospel. May try all kinds of curses and spells in order to get tenants to do what they want – words are their weapon of choice. You won’t find this kind of letting agent wearing a pointed hat but you’ll notice their appreciation for a black cat – mostly because this offers the opportunity to demand an extra pet deposit from a tenant.
The zombie letting agent
Another species of Halloween themed agent focused on a feeding frenzy wherever it can be found. It’s often difficult to get through to this type of agent as they may have a glazed expression and only be able to repeat one phrase over and over again (for example “the landlord is keeping your deposit” or “we don’t have a timescale for repairs”). Don’t listen to their mantras and don’t let them get close enough to bite.